From the DailyWTF

See, this is why I hate my job. We start out doing some magical end-all solution for a may be customer, the "XML Engine" hazily devised by IT iliterate decision makers without a clue what it's should do or who wants it. Ignore that the codebase as is needs refactoring and fixing, let's ignore that we have a todo list a mile long, let's make up requirements on top of that! Then, when reality kicks in and the may be customer isn't, we have semi-finished shit clogging up all code arteries with poison. But noooo, don't clean it up, let's hack something else together like this cover control thing, sort of based on what would have been the "XML Engine" (TM) with no clear requirements. Then, let's not do anything about it for a year, and when another customer wants something similar, let's make someone else program something from scratch, and hey, could we also make sure not to have this programmer coordinate with the other programmer? Just to make sure that we don't do anything right? And, when the time comes that a third client wants something in-between what these two programmers were forced to crap out, could we ask them to hack something different together real quick to make absolutely sure that we're living on a pile of code shit, and also top it off by "agreeing" to do that on a meeting that's supposedly "Scrum" planning, except we skip each and every bit that would actually make it scrum and instead have the überboss jot in "agreements" and "deadlines" in an Excel sheet?

Sure thing, that's how we roll, baby! Let's do the third thing, unless custId is 1521. DB is in another script altogether, so we don't need to worry about that.

(unknown coder)

Declaration of the Independence of the Imagination and of the Rights of Man to His Own Madness

WHEN, IN THE COURSE OF HUMAN CULTURE IT BECOMES NECESSARY FOR A PEOPLE TO DESTROY THE INTELLECTUAL BONDS THAT UNITE THEM WITH THE LOGICAL SYSTEMS OF THE PAST, IN ORDER TO CREATE FOR THEMSELVES AN ORIGINAL MYTHOLOGY WHICH, CORRESPONDING TO THE VERY ESSENCE AND TOTAL EXPRESSION OF THEIR BIOLOGICAL REALITY, WILL BE RECOGNIZED BY THE CHOICE SPIRITS OF OTHER PEOPLES - THEN THE RESPECT THAT IS DUE PUBLIC OPINION MAKES IT NECESSARY TO LAY BARE THE CAUSES THAT HAVE FORCED THE BREAK WITH THE OUTWORN AND CONVENTIONAL FORMULAS OF A PRAGMATIC SOCIETY.

Salvador Dalí